"fernweh [feyrn-vey]"
(noun) This wonderful, untranslatable German word describes the feeling of homesickness for a far away land, a place you have never visited. Do not confuse this with the english word, wanderlust; Fernweh is much more profound, it is the feeling of an unsatisfied urge to escape and discover new places, almost a sort of sadness. You miss a place you have never experienced, as opposed to lusting over it or desiring it like wanderlust. You are seeking freedom and self-discovery, but not a particular home.  (via dietcrackcocaine)
"Whenever you’re going through a bad day just remember, your track record for getting through bad days, so far, is 100%; and that’s pretty damn good."
My amazing friend (via pain-is-temporary-keep-fighting)

Time to be honest.

Sorry long post. If you don’t wanna read it, let me sum it up for you:

  • I need a new job. 
  • I need to hit the gym again and don’t quit this time.

I guess you have noticed that I didn’t post much the past couple of weeks. I just didn’t felt like it. I was going through some rough times at work. My workload is insane but if I don’t finish all my tasks for that day my boss gets very mad at me and yells. This was/is mentally very hard to deal with.

The last two week I had off and was on vacation in Amsterdam and spent the rest at my parents for my birthday and at home by myself, mainly catching up with TV-shows. Tomorrow I have to go back to work and I realize how unhealthy this work situation is for me. I woke up this morning and since then I have this bad feeling in my gut, I’m afraid to go back to work. I’m afraid I go to work tomorrow and something has happened and I get all the blame for it. This has happended before. I just don’t want to get yelled at anymore. I’m not coping with it very well.

I’ve been looking at this one job ad for like 3 or 4 weeks. It’s such a nice job and I really should apply, but in the back of my head I’m afraid of quitting my job… But I guess it’s time to be selfish and do what’s best for me and don’t think so much about my boss, his company and my co-workers.

Because I’m struggling so hard with my mental health, I didn’t felt like working out and to be honest I didn’t had the energy for it either. So I haven’t been to the gym for like 4 weeks or so. And this is what always happens. I hit th gym for like 4-6 weeks regularly and then something happens (mostly something work related) and I stop going because I don’t have the time or energy or I’m simply not in the mood. But I can’t make any progress like that. I have to start from zero again every single time. The amount of times I worked my squat up from 35 to 50kg is ridiculous. And it has to stop. I’m so tired of my own bullshit right now.

So tomorrow I’ll hit the gym at 5am and just start again. Get back in the groove and more importantly don’t stop after a few weeks. Even if I just do 30min of cardio, because I don’t ~feel~ like doing something hard, it’s still better than nothing.

Sorry for this long post, but I just needed to get that out there. 

morebeyoncethanyou:

WHAT IS THIS AND WHERE CAN I BUY IT

I’m 27.

I don’t need this.

I have no use for it.

I really don’t need this.

BUT I WANT IT SO BAD. SO BAD!!!

ayabug:

Wear Sunscreen

Here’s what we look like under UV light

"Books. People have no idea how beautiful books are. How they taste on your fingers. How bright everything is when you light it with words."
Rachel Kadish, Tolstoy Lied: A Love Story (via observando)

Good Morning.

I’m not feeling very well lately. Since Monday I wake up every morning with a sore throat but I’m not getting sick, it doesn’t really pass.
Also it’s shark week and I have a headache and cramps. But as much as I would like to spend the day on my couch, I have to run errands and clean.
Ugh. Adulthood.

"You will have days where you feel better, and you will have days where you want to die. Both are okay. There is no magical cure. You just need to close your eyes, and trust that the waves will pass, and soon you’ll be able to breathe again."
(via moaka)

Quick update

  • Work: I have another week off from work. The thought of going back there next week makes me wanna cry. Work is really stressful since my co-worker quit and I have to handle the workload of two people.
  • I picked up my new glasses yesterday and I’m in love with them. I normally wear contacts, but these glasses make me look smart and cute. BTW they are purple (they look like black in these pictures).
  • Workouts: LOL. Haven’t been to the gym in 3 weeks due to work. I was working overhours and I didn’t had any energy left in me to work out. I also was mentally very stressed out. And then I was in Amsterdam for a week. Now I’m trying to get back into keto and then I hit the gym again. Planning on going tomorrow morning also right now I really don’t feel like it.
  • Amsterdam: I’ll make a different post about that but long story short: I fell in love with this city. It’s my favorite city in the world. When I left I was on the edge of crying, because I knew how much I would miss it - and I do miss it so much. I would go back there in an instant.
  • Life: Pretty much the same. I realized that I have to go outside more often. In Amsterdam I was outside all the time and it was so lovely. I have to do that here at home too. I wanna find beautiful places in my city, where I can go when I just wanna relax. Also my birthday was last Saturday and I turned 27. I feel old. 
"If you sleep eight hours per day and you live to be 60, you’ve slept for 20 years. That is reason enough for me to get up the first time my alarm goes off."
"Don’t live the same year 75 times and call it a life."

Robin Sharma (via severs)

This hit me like a brick…

(via knitting-books)

I’m back from Amsterdam and it was soooo AMAZING! I’ll update you tomorrow with a lot of pictures!

"Traveling is the best education. You see the world through another lens. You realize your homeland isn’t the only reality, there’s many."
Mark Patterson (via kushandwizdom)

1. I’m in Amsterdam! It was a pretty exhausting train ride, but this city is so worth it.
2. Also: John Green. I already love this city.

Now I’m off to bed, because I had a pretty long day!

I’m at the train station! I’m off to Amsterdam for a week. 

I already got catcalled 10 minutes after arriving. I never know how to react or what/if to reply. I’m just deeply disgusted.

I try to update you, but I’m not sure if I have internet access everywhere.

Btw I’m travelling alone and right now I kinda freak out about that fact.

I’m at the train station! I’m off to Amsterdam for a week.

I already got catcalled 10 minutes after arriving. I never know how to react or what/if to reply. I’m just deeply disgusted.

I try to update you, but I’m not sure if I have internet access everywhere.

Btw I’m travelling alone and right now I kinda freak out about that fact.